Yesterday I was really sad.
I don't know if that
particular word suited my feeling
but it was frustrating.
I was crying my heart out.
I received loads of encouragement from my fellow friends.
But I found myself returning
back my fluctuating sadness.
It was a huge matter that I couldn't tell you. Cause if you know the whole story, you'd be downhearted too. Well, that's if your 'iman' is not so strong, like me I'd say. Yes, I was weak that time, and still is. And so, I wouldn't tell you about the subject I was whining about. Because to solve that problem, they happened to appear fixing them. Fix them on the SURFACE but don't go to the root. Because it gave me a heartsick, I was feeling blue.
I mean, I could have just ignored the ignorants but reality I just couldn't help it. At first..yes I felt the shivering of madness down on my spine. However, as time passed by, I wasn't mad anymore. I was frustrated. Seriously, you cannot argue with a bunch of genius!! I mean...hey, couldn't you just hold yourself together and look for the light? It was n't that they can't think for themselves. They just won't. Actually, it was nothing to...well...to feel offended or what but you'd FEEL it if you did. It was obvious, right?
I guess that is what we call human.
It's not that we didn't know the truth,
but we just neglected it.
I remembered Sheikh Yusri once quoted,
"Laisa kullu man ya'lamu al-haq,
Wa man yattabi'u al-haq,
Even so I was unpleased with myself too. I let the gloomy feeling took over my day. Starting from that very night...on till the next morning, which was my yesterday. My friends did their best giving me advises. "What do you need now, VO? You are afraid of people evaluating you? Or you want just the evaluation of Allah? The right one is always right," I slept that night with words from Sis Tikah.
However I couldn't hold my tears when I saw Sis Farry on my way to college the next morning. I longed for a hug and I cried on her shoulders. Of course, I didn't tell her what was in my head. Dare mo shiranai. But she did say, "Kakak, if you do the right thing, Allah knows."
Then I went to school as usual. Still that afternoon, I felt the discouragement running in my vein again. There was Sis Najwa. I told her, "Kak, please tell me anything that would make me happy. Anything is fine!"
I guessed if you compared me to
a sponge, I am better than a sponge.
I absorbed the situation and
stuck soaked in it.
That afternoon after class, I walked home.
Putting a fake smile on my sweet face.
Then I saw this old Egyptian lady sitting
by the road side, selling packets of
tissue or handkerchieves or alike.
Get close to her! My heart commanded.
I did. I approached her with a
genuine smile. I did what I should.
She said that MAGIC word.
That moment my heart was blooming.
I left her, feeling so joy and contented!
Till today, I am still smiling!
Moral: I don't know what you think of Egypt. But I think Egypt is FILLED with cool things all around. You just have to find its hidden pearls in between the dust. One day, I'm going to miss this grand favor Egypt had done to me, not to say.....that blessed granny selling tissue packets! Rabbuna yubarik fik, ya hajjah!
(They say): "Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us, grant us mercy from You. Truly, You are the Bestower."
(Qur'an ali-Imran 3:8)